Kassie: That's the story I've been telling him how he got here. Told him that mommy didn't have a husband. But wanted you so very very much, that she couldn't wait another day. Then so, she went to the doctor and the doctor said: if you go out into the world and look very very hard you will find a very special person, who if you ask very nicely will give you seeds, so that I can plant you in my tummy.
Wally: Got it.
Kassie: I.., you know, I've read all the books about how you're supposed to talk about this stuff and until it happenes nothing can prepare you for the day when your kid comes home crying out of school because some ass called him a science experiment.
Kassie Larson (Jennifer Aniston) memutuskan untuk memiliki bayi secepatnya. Ia pun akirnya menemukan Roland (Patrick Wilson), donor sperma sempurna untuknya. Suatu hari, di pesta 'penanaman' Kassie, sahabatnya Wally Mars (Jason Bateman), yang tidak setuju dengan keputusannya ini, mabuk berat dan tak sengaja menjatuhkan sperma pendonor. Karena merasa terdesak, ia pun menggantikannya dengan sperma miliknya tanpa sepengetahuan siapapun. Keesokan harinya, karena mabuk berat, ia sendiripun tidak mengingat apapun hingga sang jabang bayi lahir, bahkan hingga tujuh tahun kemudian.
Kassie: Isn't he (Sebastian) great?
Wally: Oh gosh.
Kassie: Thinks I'm a lesbian.
Wally: What?
Kassie: Because the only mothers he knows with seed guys or fathers or lesbians.
Sebastian: Wally you have to take me home. Take me home, Wally.
Wally: Sebastian, why did you come here?
Sebastian: Because I thought you would be proud of me.
Sebastian: Do you ever scared you could have Parkinson's disease?
Wally: Not specifically Parkinson's disease but, I am not going to lie I have had my doubts of hypochondriac.
Sebastian: What's that?
Wally: That's thinking you have diseases that you don't really have.
Sebastian: Oh my God.. I have that.
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